Women & Family

Top 10 Question Challenge

If you could ask your child only ten questions, what would you ask? Yesterday in a family ministry meeting a friend shared ten questions to ask your child. I was so excited I tried it on a sixth grader. The question, “What are you afraid of?” She hesitated and confidently replied, “Spankings, God, and scary movies.” I was blown away by her response. I asked, “Why do you feel afraid of spankings?” We talked through all three of her answers. At the end of an enlightening conversation, I said, “I love you. I am so proud of you.” She beamed.

What if I give you one question each day for 10 days?  Will you take the “Top 10 Question Challenge” and daily ask your child one question? If you agree to take the challenge, though, you must also commit to listen. Hear your child’s answer. Do not make fun, belittle, or minimize their responses. Don’t try to fix or change their answer either. Only listen and love. Accept their answers. Ask questions to keep them thinking and end with a giant affirmation and hug.

Final question before the challenge. Do you want to grow closer to your child and know what’s going on inside that little mind and heart? Take the challenge. Listen. Love and take your relationship to a whole new level.

Question 1 What are you afraid of?  or What is your greatest fear?

Tip for the Challenge  Don’t rush!

Ask yourself the challenge question. How did you respond? You stopped and thought. We need time to  think when someone asks a question. When communicating with kids, we often rush into our own commentary. Allow children time to mentally process.  Ask the challenge question and silently, slowly count to 5. Sometimes I put my hand behind my back and count slowly on my fingers. By the time you reach the number five, most children will start to answer. If you want to know the heart of your child, wait for it, don’t rush it. I promise it is worth the gentle wait.


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