10pm Call Last Night

A friend called at 10:00pm last night. Guess what? Marriage on the rocks! Been there? If you are married, chances are you have experienced a night when you wanted to throw in the towel.


After listening to my friend and thinking about my life, I wanted her to know…

  1. Marriage is hard AND hard work.
  2. Marriage is like having a full time job. It’s very rewarding with many perks, but it is definitely work. Don’t quit.
  3. Both partners must agree never to leave. When we determine quitting, leaving, and divorce is never an option, we somehow figure out how to make it work. Stay forever.
  4. Some days you just want to send your spouse downstream in a canoe. It’s okay to feel that way. Just don’t do it. After you feel it, take your thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ.
  5. When arguments occur, be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Forgive like Jesus forgives. Do not make long term decisions basedon short term emotions. Get sleep, eat, drink some water, and do number 6.
  6. Take the whole situation to God. Tell him everything you think or feel. Get it all out. Then be still. Listen. Read God’s word. Try John or James. Seek wisdom. Write what you read.
  7. Ask God to change you. The only person we can change is ourselves. Invite God to do a radical make-over in your heart. Agree and follow his lead.
  8. Pray for your marriage. Ask God to save it. Commit no to quit.

I’ll never forget the first time I wanted to quit my marriage. I couldn’t take it anymore. I begrudgingly tried steps 7-8. My heart started to melt. I read,

“He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” Colossians 1:17.

I remember distinctly thinking, “God was before my marriage and he is the only one that can hold it together.” By His grace, Rick and I celebrated 25 years last summer. I truly believe it is because God holds our marriage together.

What about you?  Do know God is holding your marriage together? Have you committed not to quit? Are you ready for a serious makeover? Spend a little time talking to the one who holds it together. You may find your heart melting and your marriage transforming.

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